Sometimes finding the desire to push yourself to do what you ought, can feel like a lost cause. Really what good is going to do? Who really is going to benefit or for that matter miss anything I do or say? Low self esteem? No not really just….sometimes a realistic view at your life (my life) makes you wonder what is this all about? Our lives here are supposed to prepare us for an eternal life, eternal beings, living and being with God. But, when I look at the fact that death comes to all of us and many times those who have died are only missed for (relatively speaking) a short time in comparison to what they accomplished or tired to accomplish can make it all seem…well meaningless.
I know there is much meaning to our lives; I know this to be a true statement, however when the mundane takes over your life and the effort you put in seems far greater than the results…well, it really make you (me) wonder. Is this what we all go through? Or am I being to “sensitive”. Mothers, out there….I am pretty sure you feel this way many times in your lives….you have to…children rebel and wether we want it to or not it does affect us and makes us wonder wether it is even worth it. WE KNOW IT IS WORTH IT, but sometimes we wonder….
And I don’t think is only mothers out there, but fathers, husbands, wife, and even our own children. I am grateful and love my life, husband and children…. but there are days in which I just am not sure what I am doing is making any difference. I can only pray and trust in God to see me through this shaky time. I know GOD’S plan is great and even if I can’t see even into the next hour, I know HE can and He will put everything into it’s right place whether I can see it or not.
My heavenly Father, may I seek You especially on those trying days when I see no need for my own personal effort. Remind me, the effort I put into this life is only for You and I am here to serve You and with each step I take to get closer to You, I am making a difference even a small one.