I’ve been struggling with my emotions as of late. I hate to admit it, but I feel like I need to share. Maybe you are saying “TMI” but what can I say, it is “TMI”.
The struggle I have been having with my emotions maybe familiar to some of you. I have been having feelings of anger, resentment, betrayal, frustration, and pain. Which have lead to me trying to figure if these emotions are valid. Because of my nature, calling a duck a duck is sometimes hard for me to do. So I am not going to go into details, but I totally believe that my emotions are very valid. I believe that some other people, having to deal with the same situation, would have already called like it is, but here is my struggle. I know that God does not condone these feelings, yet I know they are very human and very much valid. I, also know, that the actions which caused these feeling are, also not condone by God.
Onward with the struggle, because I feel these negative feelings, I am trying to do the Godly thing which is “to turn the other cheek”, yet I am having trouble doing that, too. As I pray for the strength to go on and trust in God, I find myself thinking unGodly thoughts, which then brings into my heart feelings of fear, failure, and unforgiveness. Which makes the struggle harder. Have you been there?? Help!!
So, I pray and pray and asked Our Blessed Mother for guidance because I am sure, that even if she didn’t struggle, she went through something similar but I am sure she breezed through it. My heart is sad, and because it is sad it is easy for temptation to take over. Here is where I have come to rest with this struggle. I believe that our emotions are easy ways for the evil one to overtake our minds. Our emotions become like our demons. Demons we must learn how to control for our betterment. But they are our struggle, day in and day out. Many times a day I find myself having to catch my mind and my mouth when people around me make dumb choices and say dumb things, not so much because they mean it but because they didn’t step back and look at it or think it through. I can’t say that I am not on the list of people who do or say dumb things but that is what gets me into trouble with my emotions. Most of the time, they are little things that I can easily let go within a minute or two, and other times they can take way longer.
How do we, humans, learn to deal with all our emotions. Is this one of the reasons we are here? We are all flawed human beings which are in need of correction. Once we have found a way to deal with all our human luggage do we then go home?
Lord, if our emotions are our demons, please then Lord give us the strength and knowledge to know how to deal with them. Sweet Jesus, You lived among us and so many people showed you how weak they were when it came to fighting these sort of demons. How do we survive and live up to what is right. Show us the way, dear Father.