I am very confused, and I am trying to find my way back to the track. There are certain things that have become clear to me, yet with this new clear view, I now see things that I didn’t see before and have more questions. And the more questions I have the more confused I get. My confusion seems to becoming more from the understanding of why so many of the things I took for granted as “normal” and never saw the what was wrong with it, I am now seeing how wrong they can be and why they are wrong.
So now, with all the new vision, I am trying to live a better life and to make the changes that I know to be good for me, in the process though I feel like I have to restart my whole life and that is really impossible. So without restarting how do I change so much of my life? My sins are still my sins, they will not disappear simply because I have removed my “rose-colored glasses”. Without anything keeping me from seeing what is truly in front of me, I now will sin more than ever and that seems unrealistic yet it what is truly true. Once you recognize the mistakes we have made and see God’s plan with more clarity and understand why He has asked us to follow Him, then we “Get it”. Yet, getting it and changing are only the beginning. Each day is filled with temptations and the desire to conform to all that is around us, to make our lives easier–even when we can relate to how much Jesus suffered for our sins. He confronted our sins and took them to the cross on His Passion journey, He felt our pain and took it, yet we will forget.
Lord God of mercy, during your Passion you encountered our sins, took them with You to the cross, and redeemed us. Yet we forget the pain you endured for us. Help us to remember and be grateful for YOU. That we may come to the foot of the cross each evening in prayer for You.