Learning to be open to what the Holy Spirit asks of you can be incomprehensible. As I said before, being able to distinguish who is saying what can possibly drive you mad. I envy those who have been living this lifestyle and are now more at ease with following.
It is so much easier to lead. You know what you want and how you want it done, to have to take the time to tell someone else, for me, can get frustrating. Why, would God choose to use us such imperfect people. We are saturated with mistakes . We try to be perfect, but even those perfectionist out there can’t help but misunderstand, miscommunicate, misuse, and really have to guess what exactly God is asking them to do and how He wants it done and what kind of results He is looking for.
In reality, some people have gotten God’s instructions right. They have been able to listen and understand and do. Those are the people I envy. How did they get there? Was it hard? What did they have to give up to get there?
I am struggling with many different areas in my life and I am wondering–Am I listening? What I think God is asking ….seems impossible from my point of view…it would require complete surrender of everything I have become accustomed to and what is easy for my family. Is it fair to ask them to change all they know for something that has more value than gold but will cause huge scarifies that they might resent. I want to strengthen their walk not distance them. One thing I know, I’ve come to far to turn back…especially on my own, it would be a dark and lonely road.