Marriage and forgiveness

Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if any have a complaint against another: even as the Lord hath forgiven you, so do you also.  But above all these things have charity, which is the bond of perfection: And let the peace of Christ rejoice in your hearts, wherein also you are called in one body: and be ye thankful.

Charity : benevolent goodwill toward or love of humanity.

 Let the word of Christ dwell in you abundantly, in all wisdom: teaching and admonishing one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual canticles, singing in grace in your hearts to God. All whatsoever you do in word or in work, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.  Wives, be subject to your husbands, as it behoveth in the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter towards them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

Fathers, provoke not your children to indignation, lest they be discouraged. Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not serving to the eye, as pleasing men, but in simplicity of heart, fearing God.  Whatsoever you do, do it from the heart, as to the Lord, and not to men:  Knowing that you shall receive of the Lord the reward of inheritance. Serve ye the Lord Christ. For he that doth wrong, shall receive for that which he hath done wrongfully: and there is no respect of persons with God.

Colossians 3: 13-25

“I love my husband but” , how many of you have spoken those words?  I pray that there are more out there than just me. Yes, I love my husband but there are days when we can’t communicate which leads to some kind of “argument”.

There are days when I think it would be easiest to end this here and now. However, my husband has made it very clear that we are going to stick it out. He is a good man but even good men can get on your nerves. Day in and day out with the same person, dealing with the same issues, some days emotions run high, other days it is the many unfinished conversations and unresolved issues might bring on a need for a scream fest that doesn’t resolve anything. Sometimes, it is these scream fest that actually brings on more problems. Yesterday, was such a day.

I hesitated to write this piece since I really don’t like to talk about myself much less my “problems” with people I don’t even remotely know. Yet, I felt that I needed to share. Before I go on I must apologize to my husband, I know he won’t be thrilled about this either. I think once this is finished, it will serve a purpose.

Yesterday, we had gotten into an argument which left me feeling as there was no way to resolve the issue and I no longer wanted to try. I was at a point where I thought, “I don’t even want to speak one more word to this man, there is no need!!” and I was truly serious (in My mind) however God didn’t agree.  I am the kind of person that likes to get to the point of the matter and regardless if I win or lose, I just want it resolved and maybe sometimes I can talk an issue to death (hey, I’ve got my problems, I am the first to admit them–at least as soon as I acknowledge them lol). I sat there next to my husband praying to God for the strength to not say a word, to just let it go and to let him go. When, verse 3:13 popped into my mind. I didn’t know  off hand what it was, so I had to Goggle it.  As you can see from the passage, it was a very apt passage.

As I read the passage, the first thing that went through my mind was “really God, do I have to?  You really can’t be serious? I mean, aren’t you listening? ” Yet even as these thoughts where running through my head, I could already feel God embracing me saying “Yes, you know it is the right thing to do. Do it!”  My heart was mad and even as I began to speak to my husband part of me was not liking God very much right then and there.

I turned to my husband (who is a Baptist) and said ” do you know the passage 3:13?” Totally expecting a yes and a quote. However, he drew a blank and I read it to him and I would like to say  “he changed drastically and saw things my way because you know I am right”  but that wasn’t the case. The argument still continued but we were able to eventually come to “compromise” .

As I re-read the passage and allowed myself to bask in the idea that God wanted to guide me, in our marriage, He didn’t want me to fail and He knew exactly what I should do in order to strengthen the bond of our marriage. I could have easily disobeyed Him and not even acknowledge what He said to me. I am, by my own account, an independent women who can take care of herself. I could easily have walked away but in the end it would have only been for my ego.

Marriage is not easy but how many things that worthy of your heart and soul are? Life is best lived when you put your heart and soul into it.  God in His ever goodness gave us the best He could. He gave us a union between a man and a women in order to form a family. The main reason for marriage is to bring forth new life…a baby in most cases which leads, in God’s will to more children which will bond the marriage in one goal; to love one another as He has loved us.

Children need for us, parents, to put aside our egos and allow God to guide us in our most blessed union of husband and wife.

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as it behoveth in the Lord.  Husbands, love     your wives, and be not bitter towards them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing to the Lord.”

If you are anything like me, the first time I read this passage my mind went into automatic “Ya right” mode. Yet, as I allowed God to fill me with His words and His thoughts, I could see that  “He is right”.  Wives should respect their husbands. You married this man, because you loved him is showing respect too hard?  Should husbands not love their wives and hold resentments for all that a women does or says? If we could do this more often in our marriages would more marriages survive? God love us and wants only the best. Why are we always so hard headed to see and to allow HIm to show us the way?

God, thank you for thinking of us. In your love, giving us the most blessed union of marriage. Open our eyes that we may see the beauty we possess in our midst, that we may be willing to honor marriages with same love You give us. Praise be to God.




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