I came across a book by Hope Edelman titled “Motherless Mothers” and it caught my eye, being that I myself am– a motherless mother. I have begun reading it and though I am not done, I have already found so much insight into the mother I am and why. Being a mother, raising children, is hard on the best day but doing it without guidance, support, loving insight and acceptance can cause the most loving mother to feel inadequate, insecure, or somewhat desperate.
We, motherless mothers, may not even have the slightest idea how much losing our mothers, especially those who lost a mother at a young age, has affected us in our everyday lives; yet as we become mothers our conscious and unconscious desire to have our mothers with us to guide us, love us, talk with us, and cheer us on, lingers like a ghost. A ghost, which was, at least in my case, never acknowledged nor given the respect it deserved.
AHH WOW!!!!, was going through my head. WOW!! AND SUPER WOW!! How could I have not known that the loss of my mother would so affect me in my motherhood? How could I have thought that my mother was just gone and somewhat forgotten; did I really think that she wasn’t a part of who I was, especially now that I, too, am a mother? Well, of course, I thought of her throughout my children’s lives and wished she could be here with me, especially when I desperately needed a grandma, but I never thought missing her would have a such chasmic effect in my motherhood and my children’s lives.
As I am still working on finishing the book, I know there is still so much more for me to be in awe about. However, as I read this and sat astonished, I could not help but think of other women who are going through these very things and have no idea, just as I did. I decided a book club was in order, with hopefully a discussion and a support group—I think that would be fabulous–wished I had one when I was a younger mom, but I know I can still benefit from growing in my mothering and even become a better mother for it.
If you live close by, e-mail and I will give you times and places of our book club. If you don’t live where we can meet face to face, let’s support each other though the blog site. Start reading, and feel free to e-mail your comments to me and indicate if you want them posted on the site. We can help each other grow and become the best mothers we can be. May God help us to see our strengths, and our weakness; and in our weakness may we reach out to one another as He has commanded us and lift each other up.