“And he came to his disciples and found them asleep. And He said to Peter: What? Could you not watch one hour with Me? Watch ye; and pray that ye enter not into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh weak.”
St. Matthew: Chapters: 26: 1; 26-29; 36-46
Well, I am ashamed to say it but at the same time I feel a little bit better since the disciples and I share something in common, sleep is one of my greatest weaknesses. I really like bedtime. And I think that most people like resting and sleeping. Yes, I am a mom and sleep is not one of the job perks, necessarily. So when I get to go to bed early or sleep in late it is a wonderful “reward”.
However, when my body is the one telling me and making me sleep in, that is a different thing all together. Lately, my body has been needing more sleep than usual. So now when I do sleep in late it is not as much as a choice as a necessity. But when that happens it throws my schedule out of whack, frustrating me because I can’t get everything done that I need to do.
Case in point, today, I overslept, which threw everything off…I didn’t have time to make breakfast before mass, had to find a different mass time to go to which was terrible. I normally use mass times.org, but today it seemed the masses I tried to make it to where not the right time. I got to mass at one church thinking I was late but no, it was over…so I was early for the next mass which didn’t start for 45 minutes. Did I mention no one had eaten breakfast. So I looked at masstimes again and we went to a different Church, mass started in 20 min. We head off, get to that Church only to find out we are late for that one too, everyone is now leaving. One very hungry husband, that is being a total gentleman trying so hard not to let his hunger take him over, 5 hungry kids including a toddler…what is a mom to do? We head off to breakfast, what else? I now running from church to church to find a mass isn’t on anyones list of things to do, so I figure I’ll get everyone home. Take care of a few things then head to mass on my own…not realistic but ideal.
This is where I start to feel very bad and guilty. I never made it back out to mass, the day slipped away from me. I had several things which needed my attention and before I knew it was 9 p.m. There are no more masses and today being the start of Advent, left me very sad. How can I make this up to Jesus? How badly did the Disciples feel? How can we make our flesh stronger so that we don’t give in to the temptations? This is not the start of Advent I wanted, do I let that get in the way of continuing to celebrate Advent?
Our Lord forgave the Disciples especially Peter, who ran to Him after His death. God will forgive us. He knows our flesh is weak but He knows how much effort we will put in. I have plans for this Advent which I hope will bring me closer to Jesus, I can’t abandon those plans because of one mistake or 1000. He only wants to see us work to become the children He made us to be. We must fight each day even if we lose each day, one day we will win. God will make sure of that.