Ok, I have been draggin’ my feet again.
Have I told you that Our Dear Lord likes to stretch us in each and every direction…making us into the people He created it us to be? It is amazing to look at His work…well, in retrospect anyway. I sit here trying to find the words…well not exactly…I mean, I know the words but I simply don’t want to say them…because I know once they are out, my life is going to change…maybe not in the next couple of minutes, or in a few days, or maybe not even in months but it will change and unlike God, I am not confident in my abilities or basically, in my persona.
The draggin’ ends now…..YIKES…
I have felt called to open my home to everyone….to some of you this may not sound scary or life changing at all but for me this is amazingly life changing. I have dreamt of having a house full of people, laughing, having fun, enjoy themselves… of welcoming people into my home but…and there has been a big BUT in this dream for me for as long as I can remember.
NEWSFLASH—I find myself …Inadequate!! Plus a myriad of other societal, self-imposed, expectations.
Inadequate…my home is small, I am not a great cook, my children are constantly finding new uses for everything in my home, I can never catch up in everything I have to do…but mostly…I am embarrassed about my housekeeping skills…I mean I can clean a house, not the problem, keeping it cleaning on a daily bases … is near impossible, at least for me. I used to kick myself over that, then I came to an “understanding” with myself… I decided that my children are young or fairly young (some of them) and I know that no matter what I do, there will come a time when my children are gone; so eventually my home will be as clean and as tidy as I would like it however, then I will totally miss the chaos that is our home now…so I would prefer the chaos now to a clean and tidy home. So, I came to terms with that and allowed my house to be what it is…and now God says to me “open up your home” now that I have finally stopped driving myself nuts over trying to get the house clean.
“Really” I said to God??!! “This is the reality of your life and share it, others feel the same.” He said. Yes, I agree, we have grown away from constantly having our doors open to others, we are so busy doing our own thing that many times we forget that we are to welcome each other.
So, I welcome you to my home…anytime. I coordinate a ten-minute prayer, which up until now has referred to the venue as your home and now I open my home to anyone who is in need of prayer, friendship, companionship, or someone just to listen.
Lord, help us to allow the inadequacies that we feel their correct place, at your feet and may we trust you to mold us according to Your will.