Sometimes it is hard to be open to the works of God.
We have to be sure of each of our actions and be prepared to defend them to all those around us. Defend ourselves…the very people God made us to be…must be changed consistently to meet approval or live in disapproval. Learning to live in disapproval and still maintain a healthy happiness can take a great toll on us. Yup, saying it, Bombardment….I am living it…..are you?
I love being Catholic even more now that I have come to really know and live the faith (to the best of my ability and fighting the bombardment). Yet, I question why within our great faith there seems to be a struggle of those who are willing and wanting to live the faith. Why could that be? We all know we are meant to help lift each other up and to bring other to our faith by who we are and how we live. Our reaction to others is to be one in which the love of God is evident yet unfortunately this is not always the case. I wish I could say that I was above this, yet that is unrealistic….I am only one…many times a lonely…Catholic and I do have a hard time meeting the standard.
I want the inner me to change, to be strong, to stand in the faith, to hear the word, to know the actions….to stop questioning myself but this will be an on-going struggle but at least now I am aware of my struggle and the desire to be who God has made me to be. For far too long, I didn’t even know how far away I was or even how unholy I was. Now, I am ready to see and ready to change and ready to be.
Sweet heavenly Father, You have opened my eyes through the many wonderful people that you have set into my life and the many opportunities which You have set on my path, let me be faithful in growing in the Spirit which You have laid upon me.